I’ve been home for a week now and have been jotting down thoughts and realizations as I’ve gone through the week. They really weren’t kidding when they said it would take a lot of time to integrate all the things from the Gateway Voyage Program at the Monroe Institute. (If you missed it, I have a recap published right away located here).
One thing I forgot to mention while filming my vlog and in the last post was the impact it had on my digestion. I think I may have mentioned that the program made me EXTREMELY hungry and I ate a lot while I was there. Towards the end of the weeks things were a bit.. backed up. We did some cleansing and releasing and that caused my body to start processing again. Unfortunately, it felt extreme on my body and I was quite nauseous at dinner the last night. I ended up just eating ice cream and that settled things down. I did ask some other participants about this some folks experienced some changes in that area, but weren’t having struggles with it as much as I was. Since I’ve been home, the odd eating habits have continued. The first two days I really wasn’t hungry, but my appetite has come back after a week.
The other major and obvious change was how ungrounded I’ve been since getting home. I had a few folks ask what that means and it sort of feels like being spaced out or daydreaming, but 10x a normal version of that. I spent my weekend home taking showers, pulling weeds, cleaning things that have been bothering me for months, reading emails, and just trying to do normal human tasks. Grounding after the program is a serious challenge. Even going back to my corporate job on Monday and Tuesday, it took some effort to concentrate and work. I managed to get through the day and be productive, but I would suggest not going back to a high stakes situation the first day or two after the program.
I’ve spent all week feeling like I can conquer the world creatively. I could write an entire library or paint my whole house inside and out. It’s sort of odd to know that I have to grapple with physical limits. I’ve always had this problem – I think a lot faster than I can express or communicate and that’s always frustrated me. It’s just so odd that it’s now coming out in the form of creativity.
I still feel so incredibly connected to my group. When people exchange energy or share space in that way, there’s something sacred about it. It becomes a bond because you experience the feeling of limitless love together. These people are my friends for life, even if we end up going years without talking, that won’t matter. I think of it as a sports team bond, but so much deeper than that. There is an inherent knowing of these people. I might know very little about their personal lives, but I’ve met their soul. And just to be very clear, this is not romantic or sexual in any way. I’ve met several of them in my dreams since leaving.
My dreams have become that much more intense. I was already a deep dreamer, but I’m starting to discern where in the dream space I am a bit more easily. I absolutely love that sort of understanding. The dream spaces seem to coincide with different focus levels and I can tell more vividly if I ended up in a lower astral realm. One of the dreams I had, I saw my soul body walking up to the crystal at the Monroe Institute. I was fascinated that I was watching from the perspective of my physical body. Perhaps there is some message about being too connected to my physical body or that I’m actually getting out of body without knowing. I’m not certain, but time will tell.
The synchronicities have been unbelievable. We talked about jelly fish during a debrief as a method to explain time – I drew a jellyfish in my journal before we ever talked about it in the program. The jellyfish became somewhat symbolic as we talked about it several times after the initial explanation. As soon as I got to the airport in Charlottesville, I saw a crochet jellyfish on a woman’s purse. Then there was smoke in the shape of jellyfish as I was scrolling the internet. My husband was randomly trying to go to the aquarium. They just keep showing up! The number 4 has been another big one. Another participant was wearing a “444” necklace. 4 hasn’t really been a big number for me, but it’s been showing up constantly, including talking with others about how it’s been showing up for them even though they didn’t go to Monroe.
The last thing I’ll mentioned that I forgot to include in the vlog is that usually during the gateway voyage program, one of the very early questions of the group is whether what we are experiencing is real or not. The instructors laughed at us because our group didn’t even touch that question until midday on day 4 when the meditations got really intense and a bit weird. I think that’s really up to each person to discern and decide – it’s a lot to process and we create our own realities.
Have you been to Monroe? What were your post program experiences like?
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