Every time I think about a dark night of the soul, I almost inevitably think night should be knight. I haven’t a clue why, maybe it reminds me of the dark ages or medieval times, as far as I know, it doesn’t have any major relation to either.
A dark night of the soul is usually a crisis of faith but could also be a period of depression or feeling disconnected from the other side. Sometimes it can just be an extremely difficult period in your life. The term originated from a 16th century poem by St John of the Cross, a catholic poet. In it, he speaks of the literal night and having darkness guide him. There are references to the void or the place of nothingness – which is a place you can actually go in meditation. I tend to think of it as the same place as “purgatory”.
I go through these periods every so often. I find it tends to be coupled with imposter syndrome – where I don’t feel like I have the skills to be where I am. As far as I’m concerned, I’m still just a random woman in her basement. Sometimes it can touch on nihilism – basically meaning “what’s the point?”. It can be impacted by the seasons; less daylight certainly puts a damper on my mood.
I wish I had some sage advice here of how to get through it faster. I find that sitting in whatever your feelings are can be important. Reflect on why you feel this way. Is there something you need to change about your life? Make sure you do an energetic cleanse and that some other entity or spirit isn’t making you feel bad and make sure you are protecting your energy. Make sure you talk with a doctor about depression if you are at all concerned, this is in no way meant to replace medical advice or suggest that depression isn’t valid – it is. At some point, I find with these feelings that I get tired of sitting in my own helplessness and will move on to something different. The great thing about existing is that you are always in control of your own experience – you always get to choose how you react to any situation.
Feelings that occur as part of the dark night of the soul are part of the growth and renewal cycle. It’s the winter of spiritual growth. It too will pass. Know that you’re never alone in the universe, your guides are always with you, even if you don’t feel their presence. If you haven’t gotten to the good part of the story or the happy ending, then it isn’t over with yet. Spring, birth, and renewal will all come. Find something to be excited about, even if it’s as simple as the coffee you will have tomorrow morning or breathing the fresh, crispy air. You’ve got this friend, it’s going to be ok.
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